He calls me “The one.”

Valentine’s, intimacy, and blessed assurance.

Photo by Sidney Pearce on Unsplash

It’s no news that we’re in the month of loveeeee, and Valentine’s is in what, a few days? Well, well…

To begin with, in the part of the world I’m writing from, everyone seems to be a Valentine's sales representative of some sort. You know, an acquaintance of mine, seeing the crazy prices of some of these items being sold in this season, said, “because stealing is illegal, it’s like some people decided to go legal with valentine packages.” Ha! No lies there.

So, while we’re in the spirit of Valentine's, perhaps I should begin this letter with some shout-outs. Sound like a plan? Let’s do it.

S/O to the “boo’d up” folks–whether you’ve tied the knot or are still dating (or courting). Finished men and women alike, as Nigerians refer to affectionate couples these days. I love it for y’all, most especially if you’re stewarding romantic love in the light of God's LOVE. Keep representing! There’s beauty and potential in what you have, if you continue to nourish and steward it well. By the way, some singles claim you’re stepping on their necks (and giving them hypoxia) with those cute photo uploads and PDAs (public display of affection). Nevertheless, stay in love with God and your partner. All the best! Xx.

To the next, “Hey, how are you?”

I recently heard someone call Valentine’s day “Singleness awareness day.” My reaction was literally, “wait, what?”

Massive S/O to the single-pringles, single-ready-to-mingle, single-single, and every other subcategory there is. I hope you don’t mind my reminding you that Jesus Christ was single during his earthly ministry. And guess what? He lived the most fulfilling life there ever was. So, whether you're a single who has harnessed the power of contentment, or working towards it, let me give you a token of love–a quote that also puts me in my place: “Happy to be here, and when God determines the time is right, happy to be there.” - Priscilla Shirer. (Read that again).

Moreover, you will unravel beautifully. Keep journeying with God, the true essence of life.

Furthermore, you might recall that I once mentioned in one of my previous letters that I’m, well, “single-single.” Yet, I identify as a romantic every now and then. For one, I think about how people fall in love in mysterious ways, or whatever Ed-Sheeran once sang. But, that's by the way.

He calls me “the one”

One of my earliest, unforgettable childhood memories features seeing one of my favourite movies of all time–“The missing rib” in the days when CD-players were a thing. I had a love-hate relationship with cartoons as a child, so I preferred real movies. Those who grew up in Nigeria would understand what it meant for household names in the Nigerian industry, Ramsey Noah and Tonto Dikeh to have an on-screen chemistry, such as they did in this movie I'm talking about. I can't shake off the nostalgic feeling as I write this.

It’s been more than a decade, and guess what? I still remember a cheesy soundtrack from the movie (I’m going somewhere with this):

“Somewhere, there's someone for me

Someone to make my whole life complete

I'm going out of my mind–

I'll keep searching till I find that person

There's just someone special for me.”

I guess this was where the vivid idea of “the one” was born in my growing mind. Such that, when I picked up writing as a teenager (as told in my story here), one of my books had the title “the one.” In that story, I was able to put together a few unrealistic things I'd garnered about this concept of finding “the one.” Anyway, the story was cringe, okay? But I guess to the best of my knowledge then, I described the evocative light bulb moment of feeling that strong connection, trust and compatibility with someone. A seemingly missing puzzle–the one.

Moreover, this fantasy has woven a tapestry into my life, too, filling my mind with what love should look like. For, I want to be lovingly pursued, truthfully affirmed and convincingly reassured with words and by a presence that exude gentle caress to the core of my being.

I’m no fan of being asked rhetorical questions, but I’d pardon one–with beautiful eyes peering into mine in determination, my small hands held secure by a stronger one, matching an interesting baritone pitch asking me, “where have you been all my life?”

And hopefully, on my part, it takes more than tachycardia to know that this is “the one.”

That is all me, precise about romantic love to the littlest detail. In fact, I have rehearsed lines in my head, waiting to act out my own love story someday, and just so you know, I’m a good actress.

But, recently, in my current season of figuring life out, dating being one of the least pressing issues, and somewhat feeling like a wandering sheep in my mind that morning, a good morning notification from the Youversion Bible app was a very good morning indeed. The verse of the day read,

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? (Matthew‬ ‭18:12‬).

Not my first encounter with that scripture, but the intensity by which the words, “the one” jumped at me could have passed for me actually finding the one.

Reiterating some of my previous words earlier, what I experienced that morning was being lovingly pursued, truthfully affirmed and convincingly reassured with life-giving words, and a palpable presence of my saviour redefining the narrative of “the one” to me.

I’m “the one”– the lost sheep that the Good shepherd left the 99 (in their best behaviour) to search for.

I’m “the one” – now found, held, restored and kept by His mighty arms.

I’m “the one” – even if I never ever find (my) “the one,” an everlasting love has found me. A perfect love, that makes my life complete. So, in contrast to the lyrics some paragraphs back, I don't have to go out of my mind to keep searching.

So, I’ve said all of that to say, this is the narrative of “the one” I seek to ever hold unto. Not the facade of finding a perfect human, when I’m not; not the idolatry of romantic love and ridiculous fantasies, but a timeless truth–

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine. He calls me “the one.”

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Shout-out to you, my beloved readers! Thank you for always. Hopefully, you could in one way or another relate to today’s letter. I’d be glad to read what stood out to you today. 💛

Yours in quality time,

Adebola🦋.