Away with the shoulda, woulda, coulda.

No ’gree for depression this December.

You might have partially ditched the Bible in one year shortly after Valentine's day even though you championed “new year, new me.” Somehow, you got back on track, but not for long—you just let it go.

Maybe you took down your vision board to hang a portrait of you and someone who, as it turned out, had no business being a part of your vision.

Or perhaps you severed ties with certain beneficial relationships because you didn’t want to be accountable.

Wait, did the year somehow feel like a rinse-and-repeat of previous years and, or, mistakes? Like you're back to square one?

📍Hold that thought while I answer some hypothetical questions myself.

• “How many books did you read this year?”

2024 was not my “book reading” year at all. The most I did with reading was to keep up with my Bible reading plans on Youversion and my grades in school. I didn't keep to my usual style of reading a book or two per month. But blogs and podcasts? I did more of those.

• “Made your first million yet?”

Is my account balance ready for this kind of conversation? Haha. Well, I’m learning to live in the assurance that God is my source and sustainer, and my faith is toward Him. In this, I have everything I need. I’m yet to, but I will, and surpass it.

• “So, what's next after graduation?”

Me? Oh! I’m yet to finish school–even though a few people thought I already did. But a number of my friends did, anyway. Their accomplishments are beautiful reminders that progress doesn’t always look the same for everyone—and that’s okay.

• “How many souls did you win for Christ this year?”

While, I’m still working on the discipline of effective follow-up, I remember the seeds sown in conversations, encouragement and prayer. I do not have a precise statistic, but I trust that God’s timing, not mine, will bring the harvest.

• “It’s 2024—the love year. Many people got together. Are you in that number?”

Ugh. I’m low-key upset about how I spent a lot of mental energy thinking about this up to the point of worry.

I mean, this is me—someone who genuinely enjoys her own company. Yet there I was, longing for “my person.” Nevertheless, in what seemed like loneliness, I found peace and reassurance in God—His providence and timing, that is.

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(Now, release the thought you held at the beginning 😂).

Let’s talk about December…

Is it just me, or (if you allow it) this month could magnify everything that went wrong during the year? It’s important to reflect, but there’s a thin line between reflection and brooding over the shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Yesterday, I was on a call with my mom, and she mentioned how she spent most of the day fixing up Christmas décor. Soon, it will be all about goat and chicken, but even in the festive buzz, it’s easy to look back at the year and feel like you’ve fallen short, like the weight of unmet expectations might crush you.

However, it’s also easy to get overwhelmed by the highlight reels of others while it seems like there’s nothing much going on for you. If you allow it, this month can feel like a trap, pulling you into a pit of regret, hopelessness and imposter syndrome.

But here’s the thing: God isn’t done with you yet. You’re here, now. You stumbled, but you didn’t stop; you doubted, but you didn’t quit. And every day, His grace was sufficient, even when you felt insufficient.

Did you see His fingerprints in the little things? The unexpected provision, the timely encouragement, the peace that passed understanding, the time you almost lost your mind…the million little miracles?

Retreat and Prepare

So, away with the shoulda, woulda, coulda. December should not depress you or make you feel defeated. Please, count your blessings, enjoy the holidays, and take time to retreat—pray, plan and prepare for the coming days.

Beloved, you’re in good hands—God’s hands. Never forget that. 💛

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🎁P.S - A christmas gift is on the way, my beloved readers (hint: the release date will be communicated soon).

Yours in Quality Time,

Adebola. 🦋