Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Who else looks at their current circle of friends and wants to fall on their knees just thanking God for mercy? I know I do. Because me? How do I have such amazing people in my corner?

I don’t deserve it. I don't deserve them.

In my first year in secondary school, I messed up a lot. With lies. I’m not even sure why I told them. Funny thing was, the things I lied about weren’t even a big deal. I told random, unnecessary, and completely avoidable lies such as “I have two older siblings.” If you read my last letter, you'll know that's not true.

When the truth came out, it did in the most embarrassing way. Think of the most mortifying thing to ever happen to you. Multiply it by the year you were born. Exactly how I felt.

I will never forget the sting of shame that overwhelmed me when they found out I had made up those flimsy stories. The moment there was a caught, I did more than wish the ground would open up and swallow me. Ah, if you had seen the looks on their faces! The things they said to me!

And to think I was right in the middle of a growing best friend situation, and this person had to “break up” with me. Omọlómọ¹ said she was no longer interested. She no dey do shoko² again. LOL. I broke her trust, and some things couldn’t go back to the way they were.

In fact, it took me a long time to get comfortable with the word best friend since that time. It wasn’t until recently that I started calling the one who’s my actual best friend best friend (Hi, Toyin).

Deep down, I was afraid I’d mess things up again, so for the longest time, I settled for “oh, she’s my closest friend.” But when I searched my heart, I understood where the PTSD surrounding the best friend title was coming from: I felt didn’t deserve that label.

She was even right in the middle of that situation back then (although she wasn't the ‘best friend’ that broke things up). Point is, she's seen me at my worst and somehow, she’s still in my life. Now, she didn’t excuse what I did. We even had a fallout. But we’ve given each other grace to grow and become better, while nurturing what we’ve built.

Lies aside, I remember how I once slapped another friend because I didn’t like what she said about someone I cared about. (Read, don’t judge💀). See, I understand what it means to feel like the most undeserving in the friendship department.

Yet, along the way, a few amazing others have come into my life nonetheless. I’m not talking about the kind of friends who claim closeness just because your birthday photoshoot was giving, I mean the ones who are truly intentional at heart. And even though I keep learning to do better in my friendships, sometimes, I just can't get over the fact that God would still favour me this way.

But. . .’nuff said about me.

What good thing is happening in your life right now that feels underserved? You might be fighting it. Heck, you might even be taking it for granted because after all, “I don't deserve it.”

Stop right there (I command it!). Maybe you don’t deserve it. Maybe you do. Either way, that’s besides the point. When God, in His mercy, surrounds us with good, most times it's not because we’ve earned them, but because He is a good and gracious God. Remember how he gives rain both to the righteous and unrighteous? (Matthew 5:45). Exactly.

And so, to you my fellow President-general-among-the-nations on matters of “I-don’t-deserve-this-or-that,” you might want to reconsider side-eyeing your blessings like they showed up at the wrong address.

If God has placed you right in the midst of people who care for you, hold them close. Cherish them. You didn’t have to be flawless to be loved. You just are because God says you are.

Something profound I once heard from Ezinne Zara (I think) was: “True love doesn't often feel deserved.” In fact, it is a principle rooted in the Scriptures (Romans 5:8).

All of us have fumbled something good at some point, we have had our liar, liar, pants on fire moments, even if it wasn't lies. But guess who found grace? You and I. Let’s not miss another opportunity to enjoy every good and perfect gift the Father has blessed us with.

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Hey, everyone. 💛

Thank you for reading! Even though I had planned to talk about friendships this month, it didn't exactly go as planned. This month was a lot! But anyway, I thought to drop this one to wrap up the month, you know? Hope it resonated with you in some way. 💌

Yours in Quality Time,
Adébọ́lá. 🦋

1. Someone's child

2. A popular slang in my high school which was used to refer to being best friends with someone.